I agreed to do a commission for a good friend (Bob) who recently
purchased one of my paintings. I usually say that I like doing commissions and
that my background in commercial art has conditioned me for client interaction.
Luckily, my friend is open to abstraction and has experience empowering
artisans. The source of inspiration for the painting is a photograph of a Cape
Cod bay near his summer home, taken when the light is low in the sky. Traces of
the presence of man are only barely discernible a few boats, a portion of a
home, a boat dock. The overall scene is placid and quite beautiful.
I made dozens of sketches before beginning. And the client requested
a sketch before giving me the green light. Because of my preliminary thinking I
was able to quickly send a black and white pen-line sketch with color and
production notes. It illustrated how I cropped out the bottom half and part of the right side of the photo. I received the go-ahead. I had previously prepared the
30”x30” cradled panel by sanding the edges to avoid slivers when handling,
applied blue painter’s tape to the cradle to keep it clean, strung a braided
wire so that it could be hung on the wall while the work was in progress
(taking off the easel periodically is a must), laid out the composition
(converting the photo to a square format, deciding on a 2/3 to 1/3 sky to
ground ratio), and roughed in the background colors with a light oil wash.
Thumbnail Pen-line Layout of the Painting with Notes
Day 2
I spent most of the day on the top 2/3 of the painting. I
referred to the photo to capture the color of the clouds and the sky, which
contributed to the feel of the scene. I fell into the trap of trying to
replicate the color of the light and the shadows as they appeared on the
clouds. I also tried to see the clouds and sky as compositional elements –
seeing the space behind the clouds not as background but also as an equal
element as if it had a life of its own. Things did not go well and at the end
of the day I was kicking myself for engaging in a process that I am not
accustom. In frustration I decided to change the game. I took a nail and carved
a large ellipse that delineated the edge of the clouds and the sky. I began
carving into other areas, repeating the shape I first created. Well, that did
move the work towards abstraction, but did it violate the spirit that I was
searching for? I decided to call it a day and went home full of frustration –
pledging not to take on a commission that required a point of reference ever
again.
Day 3
I awoke before dawn, for this was the time of the Fast for
Baha’is, after prayers and reading about the meaning of the disconnected
letters of the Quran, I decided to be inspired by looking at the abstract
painting of my contemporaries. This would move me away from obsession with the
reference, which was not working out and might lead me in a more abstract
direction. I decided to not refer to the photo too much and work from memory
with the images from Pinterest still in my head.
Things went better. However, I needed to simplify, so I
scraped away the smaller shapes created on the previous day. This provided me
with a square space that took on the element of reflection of light on still
water. No mater how hard I tried I kept referring to the photo. I feared that
if I moved to far away from the atmosphere in the picture, I would disappoint
Bob. Furthermore, compositionally I have drifted far from the sketch that I
supplied. Nevertheless, I forced myself to resist the tendency to realistically
copy the photo – just paint! I made progress. I decided to take the painting
home and view it in a different environment. This is a practice that is very
helpful and has a variety of benefits. First, it lifts my spirits for the
lighting in my bedroom makes every painting look better. And Second, I can
better reflect upon it due to the nature of the environment. Solutions to
problems always surface from this practice. After I hung the unfinished
painting at home, I referred back to the photo. I noticed that the composition
of clouds were different in the photo. I decided to replicate this relationship
in the painting.
Day 4
I awoke realizing what need to be done with the “clouds”.
Now this action is antithetical to the process of painting without external
reference that I committed to the day before. Normally, I would sketch out a
few ideas before heading to the studio. But today I started to write about the
issues and concepts surrounding this commission (journal therapy!). I began by
trying to explain the seemly conflicting feelings I have been experiencing.
Here are some of the thoughts I recorded:
Fear. I am always concerned with making the client happy.
And, if there is one thing I know is that most people have the tendency to
identify shapes, color and line as known objects or scenes. They can’t help it.
How much more when you have a photo that you know was used as reference. The
certainty of this phenomenon had an overpowering influence on the painting
process. I felt obligated to provide touch points for the viewer, retain the
spirit of the image and at the same time create a new experience that possesses
a higher level of significance. I am thinking that this might be an impossible
task.
Solution. Continue to write, postpone painting. Writing
requires focused thought. It is meditative. It releases ideas. It allows for
discovery. It confirms action. I now know why Vincent van Gogh wrote so much.
Writing facilitates the articulation of meaning and that’s what I need to
progress to the next stage of the painting. I need to paint from a point of
meaning rather than replication or impression. I will use the atmosphere of the
photo, and even some compositional elements, but I need to paint them
paradoxically as form and feeling and substance and spirit, as symbols with
meanings. It won’t matter if it looks like the photo, but in my heart I know
too much abstraction might bewilder the viewer familiar with the reference.
Again, paradox and conflict! It has chained my hand from adding personal
elements foreign to the photo.
To achieve a new frame of mind, I need to view the natural
elements as symbols. Literalness is the enemy of wisdom – and also of
abstraction. The clouds in the reference are not billowing water vapor
filtering warm light but a sign or attribute of the Creator or of man’s folly.
They are a symbol of detachment and source of life giving waters and conversely
they symbolize ignorance and imitation that blocks and obscures the light of
the Sun. The top 2/3 of the painting is a cloud symbol. It meets the earth at
the horizon. I will attempt to honor that natural relationship. It may be the
part of the painting that parallels the reference source. However, I now have
decided to not with hold the painting of the glyphs of imagination that find
their way into my work.
Think Deeper. One special quality of the reference is that
it contains all the elements of what the ancient’s believed made up reality –
Air (wind), Earth, Light (fire), and Water. These elements embrace in the
reference photo – the unconscious reason why it uplifts our spirit. Each
element can metaphorically be seen as divine symbols representing mystical
stages of creation and therefore possesses the potential for deeper meaning and
instill a sense of ecstasy. Once again I will attempt to paint these elements
conceptually but not realistically as they appear in the photo.
See No Dichotomies. I need to appreciate the photo instead
of viewing it as an adversary. Think unity. This led to the notion that the
reference photo itself represents the concept of the relativity of reality. The
photo created a “reality” by stopping time. The reality of the scene was
different before the shutter snapped and it was different afterwards. In fact,
in a matter of a few hours what was a once a beautiful scene would be a
darkened space where shapes and reflections are only dimly discernible. These
thoughts reminded me of an answer to a question, “to see requires
illumination”. And, as the illumination changes so does reality. So I’m not
just painting a scene, I am painting a moment. A moment that will never be repeated,
and one needed to be present in order to truly experience it. This was not my
moment it was someone else’s. And, I can’t replicate that, but I can provide a
metaphor for that experience. I will try to elevate the work beyond the
pleasure of scenic observation and create a new landscape of the heart.
It’s nearly 11:00 am – I must get to the studio.
Driving the studio I realized that I left my ipad,
containing the reference, behind. I took my absent mindedness as a hopeful
sign. With my new frame of mind I don’t need reference. Today, I will paint
from an internal source. The first thing I needed to do was to rethink the
large ellipse that I hastily carved the day before. Janice, my wife, responded
negatively to it and I try to listen to her comments. This is another reason
for bring the painting home in its early stages. Consultation in all things is
beneficial; even in what is believed to be a solitary activity.
I began smoothing out what I had carved the day before and
added a line of “clouds” near the horizon that was missing. In the process of
working on the area of the ellipse, I felt that it needed to be brighter. I reached for
Alizarin Orange, an oil paint that Williamsburg makes. It has the capacity to
stain encaustics and when diluted it turns into an unusual bright yellow hue. I
use oil paint to color the spaces between the highly built up encaustic paint –
this allows the eye to mix the two colors. I brushed on the Alizarin Orange not
realizing that the paint had not sufficiently hardened from my previous
adjustment, which required a heavy fusing (heat after applying paint). The
force of the brush smeared the beautiful little beads of paint created the day
before. And once they are gone, they can never be recreated. After an inaudible
curse, I carved a ring around the smear. Perfect! That’s what that space
needed. The accident opened the door to adding my gestures and shapes that had
no connection to the reference but added personality and mystery. I added a
mound of paint where a space was, carved another shape and colored it a shade
of red violet. I was on my way!
Janice was right, the sky was more cohesive with the carving
(line) eliminated. The sky was still too active and variegated. I decided to
add more gray to smooth it out. However, I had completely run out of Midtone
Gray, which I was using as a base color. Midtone Gray is not just black and
white mixed together. It is made up of the three primary colors plus white, so
it takes on a complementary reflection when placed next to different colors.
For example, it can look yellowish next to purples or bluish next to orange. I
had to create my own gray or run to the store. I made my own and worked on the
“sky”. Without the reference, it took on a darker tone. I am concerned that the
brightness of the sky in the photo may have been lost. Maybe it doesn’t matter
–we’ll see.
The painting needed more complexity in the square at the
center of the bottom portion of the painting (the reflection area). It is a
smooth area that had been carved away and scraped to reveal the layers of color
like weathered antique fisherman’s buoys. It needed more excitement, like a
controlled explosion. I masked off the area to prevent over spray and
repeatedly whacked a brush loaded with orange paint against my adjustable wrench
(that I use to pick up hot tins and loosen stuck oil caps) – this action
splattered little droplets up from the bottom of the painting. When fused, they
grew in size and I had to scrape many of them away. A thick line of light blue
was added and then scraped away, revealing a few bands of the orange underneath
– this produced a wonderful vibration.
The last thing I did was to add additional ladder forms. Now
the bottom right shape change into a more pleasing proportion. Tomorrow, I will
decide what to do with the squares that I carved into the edge. I am thinking
that the “sky” may need lightening and more mysterious forms added to it (maybe
more ellipses?).
Day 5
Saturday. Didn’t go to the studio. Stopped by Rochester Art
Supply to pick up a few ounces of Midtone Gray after teaching my children’s
class. Turns out they close at 3pm, missed it by an hour. At home, I perused the
work of Sammy Peters for inspiration. I had just discovered him on Pinterest
and pinned a few of his exhibition photos on my “artists that inspire” board. I
began sketching more thumbnails of the painting. It amazes me how these tiny
pen sketches can be so useful. A few lines can be loaded with meaning and
intent, and act as the impetus for the next idea and action. I began sketching
the painting at its current stage of development. I drew a square representing
the painting, the horizon line 2/3rds down and three squares across the bottom
and filled them in with gestures indicating proposed activity. I realized that
I had unconsciously painted the 4 elements and partitioned them into
rectangular shapes: Air at the top; across the bottom (left to right) water,
light (the center square I previously called “reflection”), and earth. This
recognition seemed to be a confirmation of my earlier thought process about the
symbols. I was convinced that this insight would significantly effect the
direction of the painting. Each of the 4 areas now has their own theme. The
trick will be to unify them.
It’s 11:09 pm. Can’t stop thinking about the painting.
Looking through some of the pins of abstract paintings I have made on
Pinterest. I notice reoccurring shapes. It suddenly dawned on me that rarely
squares and rectangles are found in nature. However, they somehow end up in the
majority of abstract paintings – including my own. And, they will definitely
find their way into this commission. What does this geometry engender?
Day 6
I began the day hopeful that the inertia of literalness had
been lifted by the insights of yesterday. I’m thinking that the boat shapes
I’ve painted in the “water” section are too literal but at the same time I am
attached to the “ark” shape as a symbol. Again, conflict and choice.
As it turned out, I didn’t get to the studio today. My
daughter Nicole’s going away party took all my attention (she’s going to Haifa
for 2 ½ years to serve at the Baha’i World Centre). I decided to ask Bob (the
patron) if he would like to read what I have written so far. He was on his way
to Japan but enthusiastically agreed. I sent him everything written above in
its rough form (no photo).
Day 7
Slow start to the day, needed to help Nicole get ready for
her relocation. I am still thinking about how to paint the boats. While running
errands with my wife, we stopped at the studio. She asked if the painting was
done. I replied quickly, “No.” I told her what I planned to do to the water
area and she suggested that I don’t change the water or the boats. It seems that
my desire to move to the abstract end of the spectrum was not shared. This
discussion made me reflect that my process of intellectually imparting meanings
and symbolism to my work may make it unapproachable. For now, I will not add
stripes to the water area as I intended and the boats will stay afloat.
I was showing Jan (my wife) how the painting changes
dramatically based on the illumination source. I paint under overhead lights
(Solux bulbs, closest to daylight). The heavy build-up of encaustic paint
reacts to the overhead light in two important ways. It catches light on the
smooth raised areas and reflects it as bright spectral highlights. This adds
lightness to the surface and unifies it at the same time. The other effect is
that the texture casts deep shadows. This has the effect of adding contrast.
Consequently, the colors take on a greater level of intensity. The preferred
way to view my work is with it lit from above.
I then turned off the overhead spots and we viewed the work
in daylight. The painting dramatically changed. The sky blue ground now became
visible and lighter, for it was no longer obscured by shadow; some of the
clouds darkened (the highlights disappeared), others softened; and the overall
impression became naturally flatter. Now, this isn’t bad, just different.
Actually, I really like the idea that the reality of the painting changes with
the illumination.
I got back to the studio around 4:30 for a few hours of
painting. I made a few enhancements to the “earth” section – basically
smoothing (by scraping) a square of texture. This adds drama and contrast. Then
I added a stroke of dark pink over flatten green (drip included). Now this
color has nothing to do with the “earth” section, but everything to do with the
total work. It is an act that cannot be understood in the context of the
reference or any figurative orientation. It’s genesis is in the realm of
abstraction and operates purely as color and form against a textured green
field. In the context of the painting it might be viewed as a visual virus
attacking the vegetation of the landscape or conversely, a disruption switch
that reorients the viewer’s thoughts and emotions away from a process of
identification. More likely, it represents something unknowable and I am
foolish to try to analyze it.
I believe the painting may be close to completion. I
stripped off the masking tape and carved and fused the paint hanging over the
edges flush with the sides. This avoids the tendency for a section of the paint
to chip off if handled incorrectly. I am still conflicted about the “air”
section only because the reference was warmer and lighter. I
am satisfied that an emotional and intellectual connection can be made between
the painting and the inspiration source. Or, at least there is in my mind, but
I have be intensely intimate with this relationship for a long time. In the
final analysis, the work must stand on it’s own. Like an individual – one would
be ill advised to compare one’s self to others in order to determine your
reality or worth.
Day 8
Busy helping my daughter today. However, after dinner I
stopped by the studio and brought the painting home for further reflection and
meditation. I hung it under the overhead spotlight. The painting looks so good
under this light. Each bead of paint is accentuated so the surface takes on a
life of its own. I decided to add a smooth dark green square on the left edge
to subtly provide an added measure of balance. The sky is fine and doesn’t
require warming.
Day 9
Exhausted after getting Nicole off to Haifa. Another day,
living with the painting. Nicole made a few helpful comments before she left.
After about 20 minutes of staring at the painting, I felt that the “sky” area
was too figurative even though the color had migrated towards violet shades. It
needed more of my mysterious shapes so that the viewer wouldn’t make a sky
association so readily. This would allow someone to approach the work with a
more abstract orientation. We’ll see what happens after I apply this thinking.
Day 10
I made the additions that were conceived the day before. I
ended up repainting the “sky.” I just could leave it alone, even though it was
beautiful. It was an active sky full of color. I decided to warm up the blue
under-painting and add warm grey. I am being controlled by the reference. After
about an hour of work, the results didn’t feel right. I began scrapping it off.
I must have taken 2 ounces of paint off. This action produced a more level
area. However, in the process of scrapping I pulled some spots away from the
board indicating that I have an minor adhesion problem, probably caused by the
light oil wash or the first layer not heated sufficiently. Tomorrow I plan to
add a overall color, making the top portion of the work more of a field, this
will simplify the overall painting. It will also permit rapid brush strokes that
will add energy.
Day 11
I repainted to top 2/3rds of the painting closer to the
color of the reference. However, I did not refer to it all day. These efforts
weren’t working. I ended up going back to the original grays and violets but
this time I felt the need for contrast so I went darker and introduced patches
of dark blue. The “sky” area is still busy but more interesting. It is a great
departure from the reference. Undaunted, I began adding mysterious small
colored shapes then bold brush stroke of opposite colors. It is beginning to
feel like an abstract painting despite my unfounded attachment to providing
visual clues, obscure as they may be, to the reference. I brought the painting
home for more reflection. I already have some ideas. I am thinking that it might
be a good idea never to compare the painting to the photo.
Day 12
I put my hand into my coat pocket and discovered a paint
sample that Mike gave me to try while I was buying paint at Rochester Art Supply the
day before. Mike owns Enkaustikos Paints and he is always innovating. The sample
is called Warm Pearl – a metallic white that has a shimmering luster to it. I
am thinking that a bold brush stroke of white in the “Light” section would
align with yesterday’s thinking.
The painting took on a bolder more colorful feel today. I
don’t always listen to music when painting but today I replayed a J.S.Bach
Violin Concertos CD and then some jazz standards. I add stronger violets to the
sky area, carved more shapes, and lightened areas with a warm gray. The Warm Pearl
didn’t work out the way I envisioned. Instead it evolved into a dramatic yellow
green over blue brush stroke. One great feature of encaustic paint is that if
you don’t like what you have done you can paint over it in a few seconds. Many
of the colors are opaque and only one stroke is required. The Warm Pearl
brushstroke made the blue then yellow green possible. I couldn’t have
envisioned or achieved the final color without making the effort. I think most
painters have learned that we need to be in action to receive the bestowal of
confirmation.
Early on I painted two identical boat shapes in the “water”
section. Today, I turned one of the boat shapes into a rectangle (a raft, if
need be) and increased its color intensity with a stroke of bright yellow
orange. This action was predicated by a carved a semicircular shape I just made. I didn’t want the twin shapes to
possibly be interrupted as eyes.
Day 13
Couldn’t spend too much time painting today. I added touches
of warmth to a few under-painted spots of light blue. The light blue only becomes
visible in daylight and it disappears with overhead illumination. At times, I
think I am painting two paintings at once.
The power to the studio was turned off this morning due to a
downed electrical wire (ice damage). Without electricity I cannot melt the
paint – oil or acrylic painters never face this problem.
Day 14
No painting today. This morning, I was reading an article
that originally appeared in ArtNews back in February 1950. It was about
abstract artist Hans Hofmann, one of my heroes during my school days. He is
also celebrated for his commitment to art instruction. In the article, I
noticed a common theme – many of the abstract painters of his era were always on
the guard against intellectualism and virtuosity. Hofmann says, “At the time
of making a picture, I want not to know what I am doing; a picture should be
made with feeling, not with knowing. The possibilities of the medium must be
sensed…”
Well, what does he mean? What kind of thoughts and
techniques are antithetical to his painting process? I believe we cannot really separate
thought and feeling, they are part of a continuum. However, most people see them as opposites and separate. So what is being expressed? Are we talking about
preconceived thoughts or ideas that originate from a “knowing” modality rather
than a “learning” one? If so, then I agree. Is he saying: the painter must
embrace the unknown and sense the direction by feeling the paint. If so, then I
agree. However, I do not think he is talking about thinking deeply about
history, symbolism and reality as “intellectualism.” But if he is, then I
strongly disagree.
What does this have to do with the commission? I ask myself
a question based on Hofmann’s advice: have I inserted a “knowing” element into
my painting process? And if so, is that the reason for feeling conflicted at
times? Why have I struggled with the “sky?” Because I know what it looks like in a photo! And, so does the
client. This awareness has created a tension from day one. It has taken over a
week to burn away that blockage. It turns out that I have traveled from the
known to the unknown – transported by sensing the color, form and texture of
the medium (just like Hans instructed).
"Crows Pond", Encaustic/Oil on 30"x30" Cradled Panel
Day 15
Finished, on April Fools Day, 2015! I spent a half a day making
adjustments in the sky, adding details, painting out bright orange stroke that
I previously liked, then adding a strong red spot in the top left. Time to
bring it home.
My wife approved. I feel good about the work. It will hang
on the wall for a while just to make sure I have done everything I could to
make it right. However, I can tweek a painting forever if I allow myself, so
I’ll try to resist the temptation. The painting will be named after the point of inspiration: “Crows Pond.”
This painting would have never came into existence without
the provided image. I don't think I would have been motivated to record the daily activity if it wasn't a commission. I hope everyone likes the result.